Armie Hammer addresses sex abuse allegations: ‘I used people’
Two years after Armie Hammer was accused of raping a woman and forcing others to engage in aggressive sexual activity, the actor is discussing the allegations against him for the first time.
“I’m here to admit my mistakes, to take responsibility for being an asshole, for being selfish, for using people to make me feel better, and when I was done I moved on,” he says he in a new interview with Air Mail. “I am now a healthier, happier and more balanced person. … I’m really grateful for my life and my recovery and everything. I wouldn’t go back and undo everything that happened to me.”
In the article, Hammer attributes his interest in erotic BDSM practices to sexual abuse he allegedly suffered for almost a year when he was 13 from a youth pastor at his church. He adds that he told his parents that he was uncomfortable with the pastor, but they replied with an air of, “This is a man of God… How dare you say such things? He wants to give you attention, and that’s nice.”
“It introduced sexuality into my life in a way that was completely out of my control,” explains Hammer. “I was powerless in the situation. I had no freedom of choice in the situation. Sexuality was presented to me in scary ways where I had no control. My interests then went to: I want to be in control of the situation sexually. …because it was very dangerous and very uncomfortable for me to get out of control.”
The ‘Call Me by Your Name’ actor’s career came to a halt in early 2021 after dozens of disturbing text messages were exchanged in which Hammer allegedly revealed cannibalistic desires. “Master-Slave Fetishes” and BDSM obsession involving numerous young women have been circulating online. Hammer was also accused of raping a woman in 2017, banging her head against a wall and punching her feet.
“I tried to get away but he wouldn’t let me. I thought he was going to kill me,” the woman identified as Effie claimed at a March 2021 news conference about Hammer. “Then he left without regard for my well-being. I was in complete shock and couldn’t believe someone I loved did this to me. I tried so hard to justify his actions, even to the point that I reacted to him in a way that didn’t reflect my true feelings.”
As his attorney was doing when the allegations took placeHammer dismisses Effie’s allegation by clarifying that their encounter was a so-called “consensual scene without consent” — a practice Hammer said he learned about from Effie — and that “every single thing was discussed in advance” during of the now-deleted conversations in Facebook Messenger.
“If I still had those messages, I could have done that in 0.5 seconds,” he says. “This alleged rape was a scene that was her idea. She planned all the details, right down to the Starbucks that I would see her in, how I would follow her home, how her front door would be open and unlocked and I would come in and we would engage in what’s a ‘ called consensual non-consent scene, CNC.”
“It’s a very important part of the BDSM world,” he adds. “The approval. Because you do things that push the envelope. You do things that push the envelope [realm of] ‘Let’s have missionary sex with the lights off.’ You have to have that trust. You have to have that vulnerability in someone. You have to have that “I willingly relinquish my control over this person” aspect… you know, that [the submissive partner] is the one who actually has all the power. Always. They’re the ones who can say “stop” at any time. They are the ones setting the boundaries.”
Hammer says of the rape allegation: “I’ve never pushed that on anyone unexpectedly. Never.” Because “the whole point of this is mutual pleasure. If you’re having some kind of sexual act with someone and they’re not enjoying themselves, then I’m not enjoying myself. When two people are involved in something, especially an intense scene, there is it’s the symbiosis that makes it magical. If one person isn’t enjoying it and you feel that energy, maybe there are people enjoying it, but that’s not me. It gives me so much joy to bring joy to someone.”
In the article, Hammer comments on his sexual activities with Courtney Vucekovich and Paige Lorenze, both of whom went public about his alleged cannibalistic desires. While he denies any non-consensual sexual activity or carves the letter A near Lorenze’s vagina with a knife — according to Hammer, with her permission, he “lightly drew his initial” on her skin, resulting in little blood — he concedes, that “the power dynamic was off in these relationships because of his age and fame and admits he emotionally abused his accusers.”
“They could have been happy just to be with me and said yes to things they might not have said yes to. It’s a power imbalance in the situation,” he said. “I had a very intense and extreme lifestyle, and I took these women, brought them in — into this whirlwind of travel and sex and drugs and big emotions flying around — and once I was done, I just handed them over and go to the next woman so that woman feels abandoned or used.”
After losing his representation and being dropped from numerous projects, Hammer considered suicide during the quarantine in the Cayman Islands in early 2021, he says. “I just went out to sea and swam as far out as possible, hoping I’d either drown or get hit by a boat or eaten by a shark,” he recalls. “Then I realized that my kids were still on land and I couldn’t do this to my kids.”
Hammer says he’s had trouble keeping a job since the allegations surfaced — “Nobody’s going to touch me because when they hire me, they’re the people who support abusers,” he says — but after he was due last year Having entered drug and alcohol abuse rehab , he works as a sober companion for a recovering addict.
He remains hopeful of returning to acting, as his friend Robert Downey Jr. did after a turbulent chapter of drug offenses and stints in prison: “There are examples of people who have gone through really difficult times and experienced that, what Joseph Campbell would call ‘the heroic death.’ And the hero must die so that the hero can be reborn,” he says.
“There are examples everywhere, including Robert, of people who have gone through these things and found salvation on a new path. And that’s what I feel is missing in this cancel culture wake mob industry. As soon as someone does something wrong, they are thrown away. No chance of rehab. There is no chance of redemption. Someone makes a mistake and we throw it away like a broken disposable camera. Robert and others are examples of what it is like for a human to experience pain and then growth. And that aspect of it is something I strive for.”
https://www.latimes.com/entertainment-arts/story/2023-02-04/armie-hammer-air-mail-interview-allegations-response Armie Hammer addresses sex abuse allegations: ‘I used people’