From GP waiting times to cost of living and energy – we put a smile back on Sun readers’ faces thanks to our top gags
Bad weather, discomfort from potholes and train strikes. . . Some might say it’s no joke.
But scientific studies show that laughter is actually the best medicine as it contributes to good health and can even boost your immune system.
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Here, Sarah Arnold has rounded up some of the best puns and gags, covering everything from doctor waits to the cost of living and rising energy bills to put a smile back in readers’ faces.
General practitioner appointments:
I was trying to get a doctor’s appointment today. They said to me, “How about ten tomorrow?” I said, “One is enough.”
WHO do you call when you need a doctor right away? The nearest golf course.
PATIENT: “Doctor, I’m going to die in 59 seconds.” Doctor: “Wait, I’ll be right there.”
TWO years ago my doctor told me I was going deaf. I haven’t heard from him since then.
train strikes
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WHAT is the difference between RMT and Lightning? Lightning never strikes the same place twice.
HOW to find a missing train? Follow the tracks.
WHY was the Ghost fired during a train strike? He could not coordinate the emergency service.
potholes
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What do you call a road full of potholes and ice? rocky road.
THE guys who fixed the potholes on our road are gone. I have no idea when they will reappear.
WHAT is the difference between a pothole and a normal hole? One is higher than the other.
energy bills
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I opened my electric bill and my water bill at the same time. I was shocked.
DATE: I’m instantly attracted to men with power. Me: I just paid my electric bill.
When I was younger I was afraid of the dark. Now I see the utility bills and I’m scared of the light.
I can’t afford to pay my electric bill. These are the darkest days of my life. . .
Weather
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I asked my Siri speaker, “Surely the weather won’t be that bad tomorrow?” She replied, “Yes, it will be — and don’t call me Shirley.”
DO NOT trust the forecast of a change in weather for the better. It’s just a front.
WHAT could be worse than heavy rain in the UK this month? Calling taxis.
cost of living
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SUPERMARKETS will raise the price of vodka by 1p to £20 from tomorrow. So tonight I’m going to party like it’s £19.99.
My local Chinese keep increasing the prices due to the electricity bill. I said they should turn off some of their lights. They said they make dim sum.
Gas prices are so high these days that I used vodka in my lawn mower. Now my grass is half cut.