Through therapy, Harry Styles says he’s finally been able to unpack a lot of what happened to him during his One Direction days and is slowly learning to free himself from the need to please.
In his cover story for Better houses and gardens, the pop star revealed that he first started therapy about five years ago, but at first he didn’t want to go because he thought it “meaning you’re broken”. He said, “I want to be someone who can say I don’t need it.” But since then, he’s found the therapy has allowed him to “open up rooms within himself.” He explained, “I think accepting life, happiness, pain in the torture, that’s what you can live. Losing it crying, losing it laughing – there was no way, I don’t think, to feel more alive than that. “
With the help of a therapist, Styles also began to figure out where her need to be liked came from. “During the lockdown, I started to process a lot of things that happened while I was in the band,” he said, explaining that he was encouraged to give up a lot of his personal life as as a member of One Direction, “to get people to interact with you, to like you. ” He realized that there were no pictures of him that weren’t on the internet. The musician also began to rethink the kinds of inappropriate questions journalists would ask him as a teenager, like about being And instead of telling them how many people he’s slept with, Styles will instead try and figure out how he can give them a response that’s vague enough to make them happy and not upset with him. “Why do I feel like I’m the one who did something wrong?” he asked. He also said that he would spend interviews petrifying that he would say the wrong thing and how. even if great things will happen to him, he will not feel happy, just relieved.
But Styles went on to say that with the help of therapy and after signing a solo contract, all of that changed. He explained that when he learned that his ability to compose music would not be threatened by anything happening in his personal life, he burst into tears after living in fear. feared for years as a teenager that he would violate the “cleanliness clause” of his contract. stipulates that the whole agreement will be void if he does anything deemed “unprofitable”. The first time he said “I feel free”. He concluded with a laugh, “My producer kept asking me when I was going to hit my big break. The most honest version I can think of is, I didn’t grow up poor, but we didn’t have much money, and I had high hopes for what I could achieve in life. I feel like everything else is a bonus, and I’m so lucky.”
https://www.vanityfair.com/style/2022/05/harry-styles-therapy-mental-health-people-pleasing-better-homes-gardens Harry Styles Used to Think Therapy “Meant That You Were Broken”