On a boat in the middle of the sea, a young woman lies down with only a bit of whipped cream to cover her modesty while another girl rubs herself against her and licks her.
After drinking unlimited alcohol in the scorching sunshine for the last two hours, she now takes a shot between her friend’s breasts using only her mouth.
Meanwhile, on the upper deck, boys with glistening six-packs drink beer from a bong while girls in thongs, showing off their perfectly perky butts, stand over them pouring beer into a funnel.
Every inch of the boat is covered with bikini-clad 18- to 30-year-olds, who will no doubt later head to the Strip to drink more cheap alcohol and dance before taking a quick dip in the sea to end the night.
But it’s not Magaluf, Gran Canaria or Benidorm where all this happens.
It’s actually the Algarve in Portugal, usually known more for its family-friendly beach holidays, golf courses and dramatic coastline.
As Spanish locals seem to find more and more ways to prevent British tourists from hogging the best beach spots, many young Brits are looking for new places to visit.
As premier footballers visit the Golden Triangle’s luxury resorts, teenagers and Brits in their twenties flock to Lagos on a quick two-hour flight from London to take advantage of the cheap drinks deals and wild parties.
In the last three years, crime in the historic and picturesque seaside town – whose lively party strip was described by one local as “Ibiza on steroids” – has risen by 67 percent.
In June, Brits were warned they could face extraordinary fines for making too much noise on the beach, as playing loud music over speakers was banned by Portugal’s National Maritime Authority. Fines total up to £3,440 and group penalties reach a staggering £30,953.
And it seems like we’re annoying the locals with our wild behavior.
Born in London’s Brixton but based in Portugal for most of his life, Wise, 33, has worked for Flamingo and its sister bar next door Muchaha since 2018, attracting revelers off the street with his charisma and charm.
He tells us: “You can always find the British p***ing in the streets and in the fountains, so they can be complete idiots too.”
Midnight Skinny Dips
Sofia, 19, and her friends Ana, 20, Amber, 19 and Rosie, 19, all from Nottingham, came to Lagos for a girls’ holiday after hearing about the noisy area in the city center.
The resort is packed with bars and clubs such as Inside Out and Flamingo, where you get a free shot when you enter and five shots for £5.
Sofia tells us: “It’s the place to be – beaches by day, parties by night!”
But on the first night they realized that they had timed their trip perfectly to the area’s wildest party of the year, Banho 29, in Praia da Luz, where we meet them, having just taken a midnight swim in the sea.
“I wasn’t even cold – it’s because of the alcohol jacket!” Amber laughs.
Locals believed that one purifying sea bath on August 29 was equivalent to taking 29 baths, which helped ward off demons.
Even though centuries have passed, the midnight swim remains an annual tradition – but has evolved into a huge, raucous beach party that people flock to from all over the world.
At exactly midnight, hundreds of tourists – many of them completely naked – run into the sea, splash around, jump on each other and make out while music blasts until 3 a.m.
A British woman, who did not want to be named, tells us that she has been coming to Banho 29 every year since moving to Portugal four years ago.
“Originally it was supposed to be a holistic thing, but we Brits came and made it more of a party!” She laughs.
“Like a cheaper Ibiza”
Abbi, 21, a psychiatric nursing student from Sheffield, first visited Lagos with friends two years ago and now works at the Rising Cock Party Hostel between studies.
The family-run hostel hosts its infamous booze cruise every Wednesday and Saturday, charging partygoers €45 (£38) for three hours of drinking games, unlimited booze and dancing – and Abbi’s job is to “party every night and make sure everyone is having a good time.” have.” “.
There are also free bar crawls every evening that start outside the hostel and take revelers from venue to venue, including the tavern, which was hosting a neon party when we were there.
You don’t have to stay at Rising Cock to enjoy the events. However, if you do, you’ll get crepes for breakfast, freshly made by the owner’s mother, Fatima, who everyone, including staff and guests, calls “mother.”
“We had 65 people on a bar crawl last week and only 50 beds,” Abbi tells us. “I just thought, ‘Where are all these people coming from?'”
“It’s such a sick city,” says Abbi. “It’s like a cheaper version of Ibiza!
“The drinks here are so cheap – beyond cheap – and the beach is on your doorstep, the bars are good, the nightlife is unreal and the food is so good. There’s every cuisine you can imagine!”
Alcohol, drugs… and hot cops
One evening in downtown Lagos, where the streets are full of “free drink” brands, we spotted a barefoot, drunk man from London screaming that he had lost his shoes – and his phone for the second time that same night.
It only took five minutes for us to stand in front of the sports store right in Lagos’ main square, which had a huge picture of Cristiano Ronaldo plastered on it, and be approached by a surprisingly elegant-looking man who asked us if we wanted to buy weed or cocaine.
And in one of the biggest clubs in Lagos, we saw two girls go into the men’s area together and, giggling, take out a plastic bag with white powder.
Despite being turned away for going into the men’s room, the staff didn’t seem to mind what was in their hands.
In Lagos, possession is prohibited under Portuguese law and criminal sanctions continue to be imposed on drug growers, traffickers and traffickers.
Still, convictions and imprisonments of drug traffickers almost halved from 2001 to 2015, and police in Lagos – who are far more muscular, tanned and younger than the British forces – told us they rarely deal with drugs.
In July last year, a group of young British men were charged with around €4,000 in damages for breaking beds, ripping locks off doors, urinating on curtains and naked in front of other guests at the Apartmentos Regina complex where they were staying stay running around.
“We’re busy most nights, but it’s usually because of drinking,” an extremely handsome police officer tells us. “Usually there are incidents, maybe fights or people misbehaving because they’ve had too much to drink.
“Some people don’t know how to handle their drink, so sometimes they come here and drink a little more and get a little aggressive.