I don’t want my step-kids to live with us but I’m worried about telling my husband – he works so late it’d be left to me

One mother spoke out about the possibility of having to raise her stepchildren.

She admitted she didn’t know how to tell her husband that she didn’t want to live with his two “wonderful” children from a previous relationship.

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The mother has one child from a previous relationship and another that she had with her husband.

Post on Mamasnetshe explained that her stepchildren visit every other weekend from Friday to Monday.

She admitted that she doesn’t want to clean up with her stepchildren and do homework every day.

She wrote: “Our blended family works pretty well. Stepchildren are adorable and a credit to their mother.

“Ie [dear husband] is a bit of a Disney dad but invests a lot of time in her.

“I have a great relationship with the kids but that’s because I don’t parent them at all because I don’t force them to tidy up, do homework, etc.

“I just enjoy the good things in life with them.

“Our time with them is fun, they have limits, but in general it’s a fun house.”

The mother admitted that she does not want to have the same responsibility for her stepchildren as she does for her own children.

She said: “The children want to live here full-time.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea because I’m not going to spend the time raising them like I do with my kids.

“My dh [dear husband] I work late nights so most of the raising of the children would be left to me.

“The child’s parents are negotiating what to do, but I don’t know if I should be honest about my concerns.”

The mother added that the children often “need a lot of driving around”.

She said they went to school in dirty uniforms and without lunch when she left them in her husband’s responsibilities.

Responses to the post raised concerns about how much the woman’s husband cares about their own children.

They urged her to be honest and not want to live with the stepchildren full-time.

One person wrote: “It would be completely unreasonable to go ahead with plans to move the children in without your full consent.

“It strikes me as odd that you don’t raise them at all – does your DH help you raise your child on a daily basis?

“If you decide to have a partner with children, surely you are assuming some level of parental responsibility for those children?

“Why weren’t their uniforms thrown in the laundry with the rest of the household linen at the weekend?

“It sounds like there’s too much of a fun house/Disney dad mentality in your home, which is why things like uniforms and lunches are missing.”

Another commented, “I find it very mean and uncomfortable sending the kids to school in dirty uniforms just out of pettiness.”

“I understand you don’t want to be raising these kids full-time – but making sure they’re clean and properly fed is a fundamental thing and you seem almost proud that you’re not doing anything to make sure they’re positive for the week begin.” .

“Please leave the children with their mother as they are. If you are not willing to do more than I believe you are capable of, you simply will not do it.”

A third added: “In any case, be clear that you are happy with the current arrangement and that if there is a change, you will not be providing pick-up and drop-off, making packed lunches, providing additional bank holiday/evening childcare or the take over childcare if …” They are ill.

“You will do what you are doing now and no more.

“Be firm in your boundaries and stick to your principles.

“It’s easy to end up taking the brunt, and the fact that you haven’t been included in the discussions or asked for your opinion says it all!”

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