I sold my engagement ring on Vinted within days of my ex and I splitting up – there was no way he was getting it back
MAYA JAMA is feeling the heat – and not just from the scorching South African sun on Love Island.
The reality show host was sent a legal letter urging her to return the £800,000 engagement ring given to her by her ex-fiancé, Australian basketball player Ben Simmons.
Maya, 28, got engaged to Ben, 26, in December 2021 after a whirlwind romance.
But the split came last summer when the couple said they wanted to focus on their careers.
While reports suggest Maya has intentions of returning the sparkler, should she?
Here, two women, both facing the same dilemma, share their very different views on the debate.
No, says Lisa Stares, 49, – who sold her ring online a week after the relationship ended
SINGLE Lisa, a mother of three who lives in Doncaster and works as an Administrator says:
My engagement ring belongs to me, no one else, so why should I have to return it? I can do what I want with it.
At the end of the day, a ring is a gift like any other and no one expects gifts to be returned, no matter the circumstances. So this is no different.
My ex-fiancé took me on vacation to Mexico while we were together and it would be like asking me for half the cost after the breakup. It would be ridiculous.
Women returning their rings must be crazy.
I put mine up for sale within days of the break up.
At first I tried pawning it to a jeweler but they said I would get more money if I sold it privately.
The relationship with my ex started in August 2021 after a long chat on the dating app Tinder.
We moved in together last August and a month later the proposal came.
It was really romantic. He took me to a log cabin and proposed to me in the hot tub.
But looking back, it was all a bit of a whirlwind.
Unfortunately the ring didn’t fit and when we took it back to the jeweler I exchanged it for another type which came with a wedding ring and cost £1,000 for the set.
They were beautiful and we talked about getting married in Las Vegas this year.
But by living together we got to know each other better and slowly realized that we didn’t really fit together.
I couldn’t imagine spending the rest of my life with him and a few weeks ago our relationship ended. The feeling was mutual.
A few days later I decided to sell both rings on Vinted for £400.
When someone offered me £250 I accepted because I didn’t see the point in waiting for more.
It didn’t even occur to me to give them back to my ex-partner and he didn’t ask for them.
I’ll be 50 in March and plan to use the money for a weekend of partying or a bigger summer vacation.
There is also no benefit to storing an engagement ring in its box for years, collecting dust.
Maya is in the spotlight and no doubt feels the pressure to give hers back, even at the cost of maintaining her dignity.
But in the real world, if you can get rid of it and move on, then do it. But definitely don’t give it back.
Yes, says Jane Hawkes, 47 – who returned the same engagement ring TWICE
JANE is a consumer expert living in Gloucester with her husband David, 48, an IT consultant. She says:
An engagement ring doesn’t just belong to you or him, it’s a symbol of connection.
When that collapses, return the ring to close this chapter and move on.
When someone gives you an engagement ring, they are giving you a piece of their love.
When that love dies, the engagement ring should be returned to its rightful owner. It no longer belongs to the person to whom it was given.
I was given the same ring twice and dutifully returned. I only kept my engagement gifts, which were a lot of kitchen accessories, because nobody wanted them back.
I was 18 years old and had been in a relationship with my first boyfriend James (not his real name) for two years when he proposed to me.
We were madly in love, at least for the six months that the engagement lasted before he ended the relationship when we went to different universities.
The ring had belonged to his grandmother, passed it on to his mother, and then passed it on to him.
What followed was the typical late-teen, early-twenties “love” mess.
We continued to be in an on-off relationship while partying hard in different ends of the country.
But when I moved to Austria for a year as part of my German studies, I met someone and completely broke off contact with James.
Eventually I got home and, with the excitement of my foreign love affair, very firmly in another country, we muddled our way back together and he proposed to me a second time with the same ring.
I was 21 and it was nine months before I acted and quit due to distrust and unease.
If there was a moment I could have kept the ring, that was it. But it still wasn’t mine.
I went to his mother’s house and put it in the mailbox.
Even certain celebrities think like me. Kim Kardashian returned her £1.6million ring to ex-husband Kris Humphries after their marriage fell apart 72 days after it began.
And Jennifer Lopez returned her engagement ring to Ben Affleck after her first attempt in 2003, though she rekindled their relationship years later.
And I can’t believe anyone would keep their engagement ring after a breakup, let alone sell it on for money.
Is nothing sacred these days? Cashing in your engagement ring is like selling your grandma and asking for the change.
It’s harsh, unnecessary and thoughtless.
If it were reversed and someone sold something I gave them as a token of my dedication, I would be really pissed.
More than 20 years later, my life is miles away from young love, breakups and teenage engagements.
I can’t imagine the engagement ring from that past life gathering dust in a drawer in adulthood.
It belongs to another time and certainly does not belong to me.
WHERE THE LAW IS
ROZ LIDDER, partner in family law at international law firm gunnercooke, says:
“Moralwise most people would argue that a ring should be returned since it was provided on the basis of marriage.
“However, moral arguments are not always in accordance with the law.
“If the ring is given purely as a gift, it can legally be kept even if the wedding does not take place.
“There is no legal obligation to return the ring unless a verbal or written agreement has been made.”
https://www.the-sun.com/lifestyle/7256674/sold-engagement-ring-after-breaking-up/ I sold my engagement ring on Vinted within days of my ex and I splitting up – there was no way he was getting it back