I’m a sex expert, my 5-minute hacks will instantly fix your love life slump, and sniffing his pits will do wonders

Boredom in the bedroom is rampant and sex is slipping off our radar more than it was a year ago.

Couples now have fun on average just 47 times a year – less than once a week – compared to 2021/22 when the average number of couples was 57.

Couples now have sex an average of 47 times a year – less than once a week


Couples now have sex an average of 47 times a year – less than once a weekPhoto credit: Getty

In the previous year, we typically had sex 68 times — about 1.3 times a week, according to research by wellness company Nature And Bloom.

But if you’re in the middle of a sex crisis, don’t despair.

Here, sex and relationship expert Kate Taylor tells Claire Dunwell what could put the damper on love and how to reignite passion in just five minutes.

Feeling too fat to wake up?

YOU are not alone when feeling grumpy is dampening your desires.

A 2016 study found that the more dissatisfied women were with their bodies, the less women wanted sex and the fewer orgasms they had.

Even men are not immune to sexual body shaming.

According to the Mental Health Foundation, more than a fifth of men say their body image has negatively impacted their sex life.

Try a five-minute belly dance tutorial on YouTube, preferably with your partner


Try a five-minute belly dance tutorial on YouTube, preferably with your partnerPhoto credit: Getty

5 MINUTE FIX – Belly Dance: Belly dancers report a very high level of body satisfaction.

Try a five-minute belly dance tutorial on YouTube, preferably with your partner.

Shaking your hips helps you focus on what your body can do, not just how it looks, and gets your heart rate up and blood flow “down there.”


IF you’re both seething with resentment rather than lust, your bed will be a wasteland.

Not surprisingly, research has found that couples with the lowest conflict resolution skills — in other words, those who hold grudges — reported the lowest level of satisfaction with their sex life.

5 MINUTE FIX – Dawn quickie: Set your alarm five minutes earlier and start your day with a bang.

Don’t dwell on foreplay, try to climax as quickly as possible.

A University of Cincinnati study found that the calming and relaxing effects of morning sex can last up to seven days.

Then make an agreement about how you will solve your problems—or, better yet, agree to disagree.

According to the Gottman Institute, the most common arguments couples have are problems that cannot be resolved. So let it be.

you are too stressed

The more stressed you feel, the less sex you want.

Tension kills your libido by putting you in a “fight-or-flight” state — it raises your heart rate and blood pressure, and floods your body with the pleasure-killing chemical cortisol.

5 MINUTE FIX – sniff his sweat: A study in the Journal Of Neuroscience found that women are calmed and then aroused by the smell of their partner’s sweat.

The smell lowers our cortisol levels, which would otherwise inhibit our arousal.

If you feel uncomfortable, move closer and sniff its scent for a long time.

You should find that your feelings calm down – then your passion will surge.


Like stress, anxiety can keep your body from craving.

Constantly focus on the question “What if?” Thoughts wreak havoc on your brain, while visualizing worst-case scenarios exhausts your nervous system.

Synchronized breathing can relieve tension and alleviate fears


Synchronized breathing can relieve tension and alleviate fearsPhoto credit: Getty

5 MINUTE FIX – Breathe in Sync: Focusing on the breath is a tantric technique that keeps your thoughts in the present, releases tension and calms fears.

Go to bed naked with your partner and lie down with your breasts touching.

This skin-to-skin bond is a great way to release the hormone oxytocin, which increases feelings of affection and trust.

Then try to sync your breathing rate so that you inhale and exhale at the same time.

Keep your breath in sync as you begin to touch each other.

feeling unloved

Do you ever feel like your partner doesn’t want sex with you, only sex?

Feeling unloved or taken advantage of is the greatest dislike.

5 MINUTE FIX – watch TV in bed: Instead of sitting downstairs in front of the TV, move the TV area to your bedroom.

A recent VoucherCodes survey found that couples with a TV in their bedroom have twice as much sex as those who don’t — and 29 percent of them often developed passionate sex in the middle of a particularly boring show.

Curl up in front of a boring show and make a game of kissing each time a character on screen says a certain word.

Menopause madness

One effect of menopause—along with hot flashes, depression, and mood swings—is that your private parts become less sensitive.

Reduced blood flow means you need more stimulation, and thinner skin means your usual toys may irritate you more than they stimulate.

5 MINUTE FIX – skip your ball: Try a specially designed, mains-powered toy like the Eroscillator (from £90, eu.eroscillator.com).

This groundbreaking (and groundbreaking) device features a variety of attachments, all of which oscillate at high speeds to produce climaxes without bruising or going numb.


One of the best parts of a committed relationship is knowing how to turn each other on.

But over time, that familiarity can lead to boredom.

5 MINUTE FIX – get loud: Forget about being the strong, quiet guy in bed.

A study of nearly 400 people recently found that verbal and non-verbal communication during sex (e.g. whimpering and moaning) enormously increases their sexual satisfaction.

The communication had to be received positively, otherwise the vocal person would feel hurt and vulnerable.

Hop in bed and instead of starting on your tried and true steps, start talking about the sexiest scene you’ve ever seen in a movie or book.

Keep the conversation going as you act out the fantasy.


You used to bathe and shave for hours before a date, but now your only preparation is to strip off your week-long one-piece suit.

Being comfortable in a relationship can cause you to slack off in your personal hygiene.

A cold shower has been shown to increase estrogen levels in women and testosterone levels in men, resulting in a major increase in libido


A cold shower has been shown to increase estrogen levels in women and testosterone levels in men, resulting in a major increase in libidoPhoto credit: Getty

5 MINUTE FIX – cold shower: Contrary to what you might expect, jumping in cold water has been shown to increase estrogen levels in women and testosterone levels in men, leading to major increases in libido.

Take a cold shower and maximize the pleasurable effects by using scented shower gels and soaps that have been shown to increase your sex drive.

Research from the National Institutes of Health in 2014 found that the scent of bitter orange turned people on, while other studies found that patchouli oil increased libido.

Try Good Karma. . . Everyone needs some Patchouli and Orange Body Wash (£8, Lush).


Dividing up tasks unfairly? Bang, and your sex life is over.

A 2015 study found that couples who share housework have far more sex than relationships in which one person does most of the housework.

5 MINUTE FIX – kitchen romp: If your kitchen is the dirtiest room in your house, make it the dirtiest.

A poll by Decluttr found that 50 percent of people say they’re more likely to have sex with their other half after they’ve done chores around the house.

Work together to go through it thoroughly.

As soon as it tingles, the fun can begin. Slap each other’s butts with spatulas and run ice cubes down each other’s chests.

Drizzle each other with honey or wine and lick it off. Finally, there is a quickie over the counter or on the edge of the washing machine.

you are too tired

IF your energy level is more murky and gloomy than va va voom, your sex life will falter.

5 MINUTE FIX – serve up a salad: Instead of snacking on sugar to get you through the day, grab some veggies to boost your libido.

Lettuce is full of passion promoters.

Arugula has been shown to increase testosterone levels in men, while kale, spinach, and mustard greens contain calcium that boosts blood flow to your southern regions.

Amy Robach'shows her love' for TJ Holmes by wearing his ring around her neck
I'm a girl with big thighs - my 3 favorite products keep chubs from chafing and rubbing

Add toppings rich in omega-3 fatty acids (oily fish, avocado, flaxseed, almonds, or dried fruit) to boost your energy levels and even increase your skin’s sensitivity.

Emma James

Emma James is a USTimesPost U.S. News Reporter based in London. His focus is on U.S. politics and the environment. He has covered climate change extensively, as well as healthcare and crime. Emma James joined USTimesPost in 2023 from the Daily Express and previously worked for Chemist and Druggist and the Jewish Chronicle. He is a graduate of Cambridge University. Languages: English. You can get in touch with me by emailing emmajames@ustimespost.com.

Related Articles

Back to top button