I’ve got a long-term partner but have a £100k ‘runaway fund’ in case it goes wrong – all women need to do the same

Across the UK, the cost of living is very high – leaving savings at an all-time low.

A quarter of adults in the UK have a surplus of less than £100.

Hayley Bystram created a $10,000 fund after finding herself in dire straits when her marriage fell apart in 2007.


Hayley Bystram created a $10,000 fund after finding herself in dire straits when her marriage fell apart in 2007.Credit: SIMON JONES
Monica Ellis created a £10,000'runaway fund' after the split left her broke and homeless


Monica Ellis created a £10,000 ‘runaway fund’ after the split left her broke and homelessCredit: Glen Minikin

But savvy women are looking for ways to stay financially secure with a “runaway fund.”

One study found that 13% of women have a secret bank account that their partner doesn’t even know about.

Earlier this month, a debate erupted on social sharing site Mumsnet when a woman begged other mothers to open their own secret savings accounts, which she cheekily named. is “your fund”.

The anonymous user emphasized: “Having savings and the ability to travel is having POWER and the best ‘self-care’ a woman can have.”

One woman proud of her runaway money is the clever Hayley Bystram.

The dating company owner, 45, from Guildford, Surrey, found herself facing a mountain of debt and was nearing financial distress when her marriage fell apart in 2007.

Since that day, she’s determined to have a runaway fund, now at a staggering £100,000.

The mother-of-three said: “I have never heard of runaways in my marriage.

“I believed my relationship would last forever when I met my partner at the age of 19.


“We got married in 2004, bought an apartment and opened a joint bank account.

He’s in charge of the bills and I’m happy to let him.

“In 2007, three years after my marriage, I discovered that loans had increased in both of our names without my knowledge.

“Debts ruined our relationship, he moved to the US and I had no money except salary from my office job, not enough to cover mortgages, bills and payments. in debt.

“There are times when I have nothing left to live for.

“I moved in with my parents and started renting out apartments for short-term businesses, which brought in more money than long-term rentals, and this brought me in £2,500 a month.

“I challenged the banks and cleared the debt.

“After two years of being single, I met my partner and started my own exclusive dating company that charges around £10,000 a year for membership.

“It was profitable for the first year and my top priority was to start a runaway fund.

“I pay myself a meager salary so I can receive a one-time dividend at the end of the year.

“The amount varies, but up to £20,000 goes straight into a savings account.

I kept this for seven years. I’ve moved my savings account to various ISAs and funds and it’s worth around £100,000.

“It’s my runaway fund.

“I will never be as naive, gullible and stupid as I was back then. I have been with my partner for 14 years.

“We had three children but never had a bank account.

“He understands why it has to be.

“My advice to other women is, no matter how happy you think your marriage is, always take control of your money to stay independent and save a little.

“You never know what will happen in your relationship.”

Monica Ellis from Leeds also understands the importance of having a secret nest egg.

The freelance writer, 51, became homeless after breaking up with her boyfriend and deciding to set up a £10,000 runaway fund.

“I have been with the man I thought I would marry for two years,” she says.

“He ended the relationship and I quickly moved out of his house.

“Within 24 hours, I found myself sleeping on a friend’s sofa, with my clothes in a trash bag. I had no money, no job, no home and that was the scariest point in my life.

“Fortunately, my bank gave me an overdraft of £800 — enough to pay a deposit and a month’s rent on a one-bed apartment until I get my allowance.

“Within a year, I found an office job, but I never forgot the feeling of vulnerability. I realized the importance of a runaway money.

“42 percent of marriages have a breakup, so your relationship will most likely end, and then you may have financial difficulties.

“Five years later, I met and fell in love with a teacher.

“Immediately, I set up an escape fund in case we broke up.

“Initially it was small increments, up to £20 a month, but I never touched it.

“We have been in a happy relationship for 25 years, but I save whenever I can and now I have £10,000 and my partner didn’t know about it until I told him. him this week.

“I’ve seen people on social media call these savings ‘f*you fund’, which I think is appropriate.

“As a woman, you need to be able to get out of toxic situations.

“Never put your ‘f*** you’ cash in a joint account and try to save every month, even if it’s pennies.

“People criticize these sums as unromantic, even though no one has ever said this in front of me. They are so naive.

“Not having personal savings shows that you are irresponsible and don’t care about yourself.

“My own runaway fund makes me feel safe, my partner understands why I need financial security because of my past relationship.

“I love my longtime partner very much, but I would never pool our assets, even though we share the same house.

“We have our own bank accounts and split the bills equally.

“Every woman should hide money.

Meanwhile, Linzi Kavanagh was frustrated she didn’t create a runaway fund.

The divorce coach, 46, never thought she would need such a backup plan and this is a decision she regrets.

The Glasgow mother-of-three said: ‘I remember my friend saying that, right after I had my first child, every wife needed a ‘fund you never knew’.

“I have a delusional husband so it’s angry, her words don’t resonate. I married my ex in 2003, opened a joint account and we bought our first house.

“A year after getting married, I became pregnant with our daughter, now 18, and went on to have two more children, now 17 and 13.

“We have agreed, after my first child, that I will quit my job as an advocate for people with additional needs to be a full-time mother and we will live off his auditor’s salary. .

“I have never worried about a runaway money because I believe my marriage will last.

“When our youngest child was seven, I started working one day a week at the local elementary school as a classroom assistant.

“I give money to my husband.

“The next year, all of a sudden, my husband sent me an email saying he wanted to end the marriage.

“As soon as he moved out, I was flooded with bills and had no money to pay.

“My ex paid the mortgage and some child support, but that was just enough to cover the food. I am responsible for everything else. I don’t stop worrying.

“If I saved just a few pounds a week during my marriage, I would have that money back.

“It took me three years to get above the water financially.

I work in a bar - guys tip me too much because I'm hot, their girlfriends hate it
The woman quoted £13,000 for a new kitchen did it herself using bargains from Ikea

“Now, even though I’m single, I have a ‘you never know’ fund ready and waiting.

“It’s just enough to cover my expenses for a few months if the worst happens.”

Monica's picture right before the separation made her homeless


Monica’s picture right before the separation made her homelessCredit: SUPPLY
Linzi Kavanagh suffered because he did not set up a fund to run away before the marriage broke up


Linzi Kavanagh suffered because he did not set up a fund to run away before the marriage broke upCredit: � 2022 Branded by Zaria, all rights reserved.


TV FINANCE expert Jasmine Birtles believes that runaways are empowering women.

“It is helpful to have a secret vault,” she said. It gives women peace of mind and can potentially be a lifesaver if your relationship ends.

“There are simple ways to create funds that accumulate over time.”
Here is her advice:

1. Use a cash-back credit card – a reward card that earns you cash on purchases.

The Curve Card, Curve.com, is handy because the cashback you receive goes into a digital wallet that only you know about.

2. You can make money online using cashback sites like Quidco and TopCashback.

They pay you cash rewards when you click through them to purchase goods and services.

If you want to buy a specific product or service, search the site to see if your favorite retailers offer deals.

In return, it will pay part of this amount to your bank account or PayPal.

3. If you don’t want to put your secret earnings in a bank account, as it is kept with your partner, you can instead load it up with a prepaid credit card.

The Suits Me card (suitsmecard.com) does not require proof of address.

You can add cash to your card by bringing your money to any PayPoint store – there are 28,000 locations across the UK – and the cashier will add the cash to your card.

Edmuns DeMars

Edmund DeMarche is a USTimesPost U.S. News Reporter based in London. His focus is on U.S. politics and the environment. He has covered climate change extensively, as well as healthcare and crime. Edmund DeMarche joined USTimesPost in 2023 from the Daily Express and previously worked for Chemist and Druggist and the Jewish Chronicle. He is a graduate of Cambridge University. Languages: English. You can get in touch with me by emailing edmund@ustimespost.com.

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