There’s only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that’s not talking about it.
Jose Mourinho has lived by Oscar Wilde’s doctrine his whole life and will love all the excitement his recent tantrum caused.
The 60-year-old teenager was filmed in the car park at Puskas Arena hurling abuse at match officials after Roma’s Europa League final defeat by Sevilla on Wednesday.
“Damn crooks, damn scandalous,” he yelled at referee Anthony Taylor and his assistants as they exited the stadium.
And on the night the irony died down, he declared in his post-game press conference: “I always tell my players that you can lose a game, but you can’t lose your dignity.”
“We lost the game, but we didn’t lose our dignity.”
Says the man who wouldn’t know the dignity if she bit his ass.
Because this is the guy who could start a fight in an empty room, which the coach once described as the “enemy of football” by the Uefa referee chief.
A parody provocateur whose tantrums have become as predictable as they are boring.
It’s a long-established habit of Mourinho’s to overshadow any defeat by creating chaos.
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His team or tactics are never at fault. It’s always someone else’s fault.
And it can’t be said that his siege mentality hasn’t paid off over the years.
He never tires of reminding us how many trophies he’s won as a coach (26 if you count the various Community Shields and the Portuguese, Spanish and Italian Supercups – which he definitely does).
However, all that silver award still wasn’t enough to keep him in the job for more than three years as he has fallen out with virtually every club that has ever hired him.
It wouldn’t be so bad if he found all of his undeniable achievements with attacking champagne football.
But it’s the relentless “win at any cost” negativity that wears everyone down until they just can’t take it anymore.
Not all of his clubs were happy to see him again, but Chelsea (twice), Real Madrid, Manchester United and Spurs were all willing to drive him to the airport after he lost the will to live.
Whatever the punishment, it won’t change Mourinho’s childish behavior. Because as long as it’s all about him, he doesn’t care.
And now he’s doing his best to piss off Roma by constantly flirting with Paris Saint-Germain in what would be football’s ultimate marriage made in hell.
Roma are currently clinging to sixth place in Serie A by a point – and a spot in next season’s Europa League.
But Mourinho is suspended for Sunday’s final game against Spezia – giving him plenty of ammunition for yet another conspiracy theory.
He has already outraged the Italian Football Federation by wearing a hidden microphone to “protect” himself from a referee, whom he described as “the worst I’ve ever faced”.
He probably changed his mind after the argument with Taylor on Wednesday in Budapest and is now facing another disciplinary sanction from Uefa.
But no matter what punishment they inflict on him, it won’t change Mourinho’s childish behavior pattern.
Because as long as it’s all about him, he doesn’t really care.