DEAR DEIDRE: Not long after my marriage, it became clear that my husband had erectile dysfunction.
Growing up in a strictly Catholic family, he learned that sex was for procreation only.
His first wife belonged to this belief and refused to use contraceptives. He carries a lot of unhealthy indoctrination around sex.
We got married when I was 48. I am almost 60 now. My husband is 62.
When I got to know him, I quickly realized that he had mental blocks that prevented him from letting go. I tried to get through to him for a long time, it was hard work.
Eventually things got better and we had a good sex life for six years. But the problem has now reappeared and I’m not sure why.
He’s frustrated by that and we haven’t been intimate in the last year.
I want a full relationship and a loving sex life.
Get in touch with the Dear Deidre team
DEIDRE SAYS: It’s natural to want that special intimacy that makes you a couple.
If he’s not getting erections early in the morning, he needs to speak to his GP to make sure there isn’t an underlying cause.
If you are in good health, you may need to go back to basics to revive feelings of arousal and then slowly prepare for intercourse.
Perceptual Focusing exercises are recommended by sex therapists and more guidance can be found in my Sex Play Therapy Support Pack.