A bride has divided opinion after accusing her newlywed brother of upstaging her at their rehearsal dinner.
The man explained that his sister did not approve of people asking about his elopement and asked him not to wear his wedding ring on the day of their ceremony.
He wrote a long post Reddit vented about his sister accusing him of “hijacking” their wedding party.
He wrote: “My sister (29f) got married last Saturday.
“The ceremony was beautiful and I had as much fun as someone who is known not to be a best man.
“The drama wasn’t quite as pleasant.
“I (27M) hadn’t seen my family for a few months and we only had a handful of phone calls during those months.
“It’s never intentional that I do any of these disappearing acts, it’s mostly out of habit.”
The man described himself as “fiercely independent” and said he easily forgets to keep in touch with someone he doesn’t regularly spend time with.
He said he likes to visit his family when big events come up because his mother is usually less focused on being around him.
He explained that he spent about eight months in Ireland before flying home for his sister’s wedding.
He wrote: “I was originally there to spend two weeks with my best friend, who I unfortunately broke up with in recent years due to the aforementioned monotony that I possess.
“Our friendship began when we were 14 and was one of the most important relationships in my life for over a decade.
“I wanted to try harder so I wouldn’t lose it.
“Since his father’s death, he has spent time abroad reconnecting with his heritage.
“I was already traveling and my stay obviously lasted much longer than two weeks.
“It also led to us getting married. Funny how life works.
“About two weeks before our trip to the US for my sister’s wedding, I sent out a mass email to close relatives to let them know that my husband and I were married.
“From the start, I wanted to eliminate any possibility of us ‘stealing the wind.’
“My mother replied that she was hurt that they hadn’t told her earlier and that she wasn’t allowed to be there, which I understood.”
The man said his mother’s mood improved when he saw her at his sister’s rehearsal dinner.
He continued: “My mother was overjoyed to see me and my partner and spent a large part of the night telling stories.
“She had always predicted that my friendship with him would be a little different than others I was close with in high school.
“It was a very sweet moment.
“But at the end of the night, my sister took me aside and asked if we would wear our wedding rings at her ceremony.
“I was confused and asked why.
“She said I was distracting attention from her, and she was already bitter that I ‘hijacked’ her rehearsal dinner.
“If I wear my ring tomorrow, perhaps more relatives would notice and cause a similar incident. I refused.
“As I mentioned, the ceremony was beautiful, but she didn’t speak to me for the rest of the weekend and we left the reception early.
“AITA [am I the a**hole]?”
Responses to the post varied as to whether the man was mistaken in announcing his marriage at the time of his sister’s wedding.
One person commented: “YTA [you are the a**hole].
“You were married for three months and decided not to announce your marriage until two weeks before your sister’s wedding.
“Then your rehearsal dinner became the debut for you and your spouse not only as a couple, but as a married couple.
“I don’t think people’s lives should be put on hold, but I do believe that at important events like a wedding, the guests of honor should have all the spotlight to themselves and people shouldn’t miss that.
“You had to know that such an approach would distract attention from your sister’s big day.”
Another wrote: “YTA [you are the a**hole] You hijacked your sister’s evening, don’t know why you put it in quotes.
“You sent an email two weeks before your sister’s wedding, which is not cool.
“You could have easily told everyone months ago.
“Besides, you let your mother talk about you.
“A simple: ‘I appreciated your comments, but today is about sister, focus on her.'”
A third disagreed, saying: “NTA [not the a**hole].
“At weddings, guests talk to each other and exchange ideas.
“Does your sister expect everyone to just look at her and talk about her all the time? Has she never been to a wedding?”
A fourth added: “NTA [not the a**hole]“It’s your mother’s fault for overdoing it, not yours, and she’s the one your sister should have had a problem with.”