Selma Blair is preparing to release her new memoir, Mean Babyand in it she talks about some of her traumatic moments from her past, including the many times she was raped.
In excerpts from the book that was published in Everyone magazine on Wednesday (May 11), Evil intentions the actor opened up about her issues with alcoholism – starting at the age of 7 – and how after a day of binge drinking she was raped by at least one person, if not two .
“I don’t know if both of them raped me. One of them certainly did,” Blair writes in the book, according to Everyone. “I wish I could say what happened to me that night was unusual, but it is not. I was raped many times because I was too drunk to say the words ‘Please. Stop.’ Only once was it violence. I walked out of each event in silence and shame.”
Blair said Everyone that so far she has only shared these experiences with her therapist, but she thinks writing about it will help her heal her wounds.
“I was so embarrassed and blamed,” she told the publication. “I am grateful that I feel safe enough to put it on the page. And then being able to work with a therapist and with other articles, and really take that burden off of myself. “
Blair also wrote in Mean Baby about her being sexually assaulted by a teacher at a school she attended as a teenager.
Seeing him as a friend and someone she can trust, Blair thinks of him as “the greatest man” she has ever met. But she says she can’t predict what will happen next. “I trusted authority. I was just a teenager,” she wrote.
She claims he sexually assaulted her in his office when she came to say goodbye the day before winter break.
“We hugged each other. It felt too long, too quiet, and too quiet,” she says in the book. She then claims he kissed her and put his hand inside her panties. “He didn’t rape me,” she wrote. “He didn’t threaten me. But he broke me. It never happened again, but I never felt safe.”
Elsewhere in the book, Blair, who has been sober since 2016, explains how she started drinking when she was 7 years old, describing getting drunk for the first time on Passover as “a revelation” “.
“As I took small sips of Camp Manischewitz, I was allowed to have a flood of light flood the cabin through me, filling me with the warmth of God. But when I was seven years old, when we basically had Manischewitz and no one noticed my consumption, I summed it up: the feeling was not God but fermentation.”
Actor – who has starred in movies like Hell boy, A Guy Thing, Fogand Legit Blonde – added that in the early years of her life she usually didn’t get drunk, but would instead take “quick sips whenever my anxiety subsided”.
“I usually hardly get drunk. I became an adept alcoholic, adept at keeping my secrets.”
Blair has previously discussed her personal struggles, speaking publicly in 2018 about her battle with multiple sclerosis (MS).
In a lengthy statement on Instagram, Blair said: “I am disabled. Sometimes I fall. I dropped everything,” before explaining, she was “overwhelmed” by the news at first.
Mean Baby released on May 17th. You can pre-order it here.
For help, advice or more information regarding sexual harassment, assault and rape in the UK visit the charity Crisis Rape charity website. In the US, visit RAINN.
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